Out of the sad demeaning of baseball's record books, some humor

Asterisk wants no part of Barry Bonds record; suggests question mark "step up for once" :

As baseball fans heatedly debate the merits of Barry Bonds’ inevitable ascendance to career home run king, a different controversy surfaced yesterday when the asterisk, the star-like typographical symbol expected by many to appear alongside Bonds’ place in the record books to denote the slugger’s steroid use, announced that it wanted “no part” of Bonds’ record. In the shocking announcement, a visibly testy asterisk said the association with the slugger’s tarnished image would sully its “storied reputation” and perhaps impact its ability to find meaningful work in the future.

“I usually try to stay out of controversy, but Barry Bonds is a pompous, narcissistic fool,” said the asterisk. “I’m drawing the line. It’s time some other punctuation marks start to carry some of this dirty water. In fact, I’ll call out the question mark. Why don’t we put the very symbol of uncertainty, doubt and improbability alongside Mr. Bonds’ skid mark in the record book? WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE ASTERISK?”