Senator Easily Amazed

Senator Rick Santorum, who will lose his re-election bid next year, has some kooky ideas. He's already been nicknamed "Senator Man-on-Dog" for bringing up pooch-screwing and pederasty when asked about about homosexuality in an interview.

Now Santorum sees the hand of God in lights on timers:

He recalls the meeting in which Karen's doctor raised the option of abortion. "We were in one of these little rooms, and it had one of those lights with a timer on it." As soon as the word "abortion" escaped the doctor's mouth, the light in the office went off. "It was eerie," he says, "really eerie."

That's eerie, all right. I bet he mortifies the flesh every morning when his sprinklers come on.