Someday the mountain might get him but the law never will
that may be the best epic faceplant/Fail of All Time you got there. if you can put a grown man in the hospital with a well-placed *slap* (and you can), then a 5-lb. watermelon to the face moving at wrist-rocket speed could have easily KILLED that silly woman. so then she'd have to report to the pearly gates for processing. name, DOB, all that, right? so far so good, until st. peter gets to that tricky "howdja die?" question. "i, uh....i took a high-speed watermelon hit right to the face, where it drove my nose into my brain, killing me." "you did WHAT?? HOW?? were you in a war or something? were you trying to save a small child from imminent watermelon-related death, and the watermelons fought back?!?""ummm.....well....no, sir. see, i was a contestant on a reality TV show, and i was trying to win a couple thousand dollars, see...i notice you're *sighing*, sir. why are you sighing?"
About the most heart warming thing I've seen all week.
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I talk a lot about inflation. But today was the first time in my life I actually used a dollar bill as toilet paper.