WC Varones

Don't lend your hand to raise no flag atop no ship of fools

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs who's blocking your TV?

A: SMACK!!!
A St. Paul man beat up a quadruple amputee because he was angry that she was blocking his view of the television, according to a criminal complaint filed in Ramsey County District Court.

Jacoby Laquan Smith, 33, was charged with fifth degree assault, a misdemeanor, and interfering with a 911 call, a gross misdemeanor.

According to the complaint, St. Paul police were called on a domestic assault case at 6:49 a.m. March 22, and found a 28-year-old woman sitting in a wheelchair.

"Officers observed that all four of her limbs were amputated, her arms below the elbow and her legs above the knee," the complaint said.

The woman told police she shared an apartment with Smith on Jessie Street in St. Paul's East Side and an argument started because Smith became angry at her for getting in front of the television, the complaint said.

"The defendant threw the victim to the floor and punched her with a closed fist in the mouth and face more than ten times," the complaint said.

UPDATE: All's well that ends well:
Smith, 33, said the dispute with Bell, 28, started with an argument over whether she was seeing another man.

"I had been dealing with her cheating on me," Smith said.

Smith said the argument escalated after "I turned on the TV and she got mad."

"She punched me in the groin" Smith said. He said Bell also hit him with a coffee canister and a bedpan.

"It was full of pee," he said.

In response, "I hit her once and that was it," Smith said. "Maybe twice."

Although Bell had both hands and part of both legs amputated because of a childhood illness, Smith said she can still be violent when she loses her temper.

"She'll swing, push me down and choke me with her nubs," Smith said. He said she also hit him with her wheelchair.

Bell on Monday agreed there was hitting on both sides. She said she plans to marry Smith and doesn't want him to serve jail time.

"We both need anger management," she said.

Love will keep us together!

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