Terrorists Don't Use Costco Anyway, Right?

"Grandpa! What did I tell you about smuggling explosives in your orthopedics?!"

Good news, kids, all it takes to get on a domestic flight these days is the following:

  • a (current) DMV printout (no photo)
  • a Costco card with horrible photo (the last name need not match)
  • a credit card (again, last name irrelevant however this may only work if you are a female who could easily claim any one of the mismatched names as your "married name". TSA doesn't have to know about those three weeks when I lived in Reno at 18 years old... *cough*)

And here I was worried about losing my passport two months ago on a flight back from Chicago and the State of California taking too long to mail me my driver's license in time for my flight this afternoon to Dallas! Who needs it? (A quick call to the TSA revealed an airline loophole: the TSA themselves informed me that the hardest part would be convincing the airline to let me on without valid government-issued ID, therefore it would be wise to print my boarding pass at home before heading to the airport. Thanks, random TSA operator!)

For those of you looking to push it a tad further with our friends at the TSA, check out How to Fly without ID for tips on asserting your rights to the Air Gestapo.

As always, a smile and a reasonable demeanor can go a long way, even when you're dealing with overpaid rent-a-cops carrying out yet another failed Bush administration scheme.

As I write this, I'm milking American Airlines WiFi so thank you, SFO TSA and I sure will enjoy my flight, yeehaw! I'm a tad disappointed they didn't put a "SSSS" on my boarding pass and shuffle me through the airpuffer machine, I always wanted to try that bad boy. Oh well.

The ultimate irony of this experience is that my partner in crime - who is significantly more legit than I - departed from an East Coast airport and ended up having his bits under surveillance in the X-ray machine and everything while yours truly trotted her happy, ID-less ass scot-free to her plane.

*obligatory disclaimer: terrorism is not funny and JDA does not advocate messing with the TSA just to mess with them. I didn't choose not to show ID, I genuinely do not have any at this time. But seriously, anyone need anything from the Dallas Costco?

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Happy Super Tuesday!