11.10.2009

IPO the Fed!

Zerohedge has posted a fantastic commentary on the fraud that is the Fed here. He concludes with this intentional, or sadly unintentional, piece of high comedy:
We have a modest proposal to Mr. Bernanke - it is time to IPO the Federal Reserve (with Goldman Sachs as sole lead underwriter of course). Obviously, the Wall Street cabal will never allow for Ron Paul's HR 1207 and comparable approaches to shed light on just what the quadrillions in securities that the Fed trades on a weekly, if not daily, basis are. Alas, the only way it appears to get some Fed color is for the world's most deranged money printer to become a publicly traded institution. And since we are all grown boys here, we can stop pretending that the Fed is anything but a machine that funnels money out of the global markets and redistributes it to the likes of Goldman et al: we believe that is worth a premium multiple and will obtain a pretty high Price to Earnings Growth ratio. Furthermore, with star traders like Mr. Sack, Goldman won't even need to do a reverse inquiry (like Merrill still does on all those REIT follow ons) when deteriming pricing for the Fed. Now, if the Fed does want to indulge Americans with some idealist hope that what the Fed does is for the benefit of the people, it could merely upstream 10-20% of the IPO proceeds to paying down 0.0001% of the trillions in new debt coming soon to a bankrupt America near you. Also, think of the investment highlights: cost of capital - zero in perpetuity: we print our own money.

But the best outcome would be that the Fed would be forced to start filing 13-F/G/H (and even D - it would be a sight to behold the Federal Reserve go apeshit activist on some pennystock, and have Ben Bernanke send 20 page Dan Loebesque letters to "hobnobbing" CEOs) reports listing its holdings. After all: the Fed is merely trying to get every human being to throw what is left of their unemployment checks into the market. The best way to achieve this is to show what stocks the Fed is currently a holder of. With such wise guiding leadership, it is inevitable that every single patriotic American will do their duty to go several million dollars in debt merely to clone the Fed's equity portfolio. And it will be smooth sailing from there, all the way until America's sovereign debt repudiation, some time in the 2012-2014 timeframe.

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