TSA Tenderness

I posted a rant here after traveling to Vegas last Tuesday. I think I take it all back and the reason is Carl...

Yesterday I went to the Southwest terminal at McCarran International and found that EVERYONE goes through the nudie scanners unless one requests otherwise. Gone in this terminal are the random radiation blasts. Everyone gets radiation unless one opts out.

I opted out and got Carl. Now he was gentle, yet firm. He rubbed me in all the right spots and I loved it. Then he took his gloves, wiped them with special wipes and put the wipes in the same machine that identified my Gerber baby food as WMD's in my last TSA outing. I was actually nervous at that point because I have no faith that those machines do anything worthwhile. What if the same thing happens again? Carl might have to get medieval on my...anyway. It didn't but he did give me a second rub down which was divine. I'm not sure why.

Carl didn't penetrate any cavities and I can't imagine how he could identify if I had something logged in my rectal cavity area, but supposedly this is protecting our freedom. Just one question from this experience: do folks who make things that blow things up never change their clothes?

Anyway next time you are in the Vegas airport, do pass on the radiation blast and ask for Carl. He'll provide just the checkpoint happy ending you are looking for.


Anonymous said...

I will not subject myself nor my family to needless radiation exposure nor TSA molestation. My family and I will not be flying until the TSA changes these procedures.

"They say the risk is minimal, but statistically someone is going to get skin cancer from these X-rays," Dr Michael Love, who runs an X-ray lab at the department of biophysics and biophysical chemistry at Johns Hopkins University school of medicine, told AFP."No exposure to X-ray is considered beneficial. We know X-rays are hazardous but we have a situation at the airports where people are so eager to fly that they will risk their lives in this manner,"



Anonymous said...

The recent court ruling in the EPIC scanner case, TSA must offer the passenger the option of a pat down in lieu of a scan in order for these to comply with the 4th Amendment. Refusing that option places TSA in violation of these Constitutional protections.
There will still be naked images in the system and they will still be susceptible to leaks onto the internet. This is simply a ruse to offset the damage done to TSA by EPIC in court last week. TSA is trying to score some PR points before they have to seek public comment as ordered in the ruling. TSA has repeatedly lied about their procedures and this is no exception. Nothing less than the complete elimination of TSA is acceptable.

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