I posted a rant here after traveling to Vegas last Tuesday. I think I take it all back and the reason is Carl...
Yesterday I went to the Southwest terminal at McCarran International and found that EVERYONE goes through the nudie scanners unless one requests otherwise. Gone in this terminal are the random radiation blasts. Everyone gets radiation unless one opts out.
I opted out and got Carl. Now he was gentle, yet firm. He rubbed me in all the right spots and I loved it. Then he took his gloves, wiped them with special wipes and put the wipes in the same machine that identified my Gerber baby food as WMD's in my last TSA outing. I was actually nervous at that point because I have no faith that those machines do anything worthwhile. What if the same thing happens again? Carl might have to get medieval on my...anyway. It didn't but he did give me a second rub down which was divine. I'm not sure why.
Carl didn't penetrate any cavities and I can't imagine how he could identify if I had something logged in my rectal cavity area, but supposedly this is protecting our freedom. Just one question from this experience: do folks who make things that blow things up never change their clothes?
Anyway next time you are in the Vegas airport, do pass on the radiation blast and ask for Carl. He'll provide just the checkpoint happy ending you are looking for.