Federal Home Loan Bailout number

This is a public service announcement brought to you by W.C. Varones.

If you signed up for a house that was 10 times your income and you lied on your home loan application regarding your employment and savings status, and you are about to lose the house because you can't afford the 7Gs a month converted mortgage payment - call this number because we the responsible tax payers of this country, like myself, want you to have a home, while I rent.


I called the number and it was explained to me that there are a variety of reasons someone needs assistance. I suggested - like fraud. When I asked the representative on the phone why this happened, she said it’s the fault of the banks and the hedge funds. Interesting that she blamed the hedge funds.

I know people will call me a radical, conservative fascist but I blame those who purchased homes they couldn’t afford. I blame the evil, little orange people who provided the loans to these people. I blame the enablers such as Fannie and Freddie fuck. I blame the credit agencies who gave AAA ratings to mortgage securities that were made up of $500K mortgages given to illiterate migrant workers who signed an X on the signature block. I blame the politicians for doing the will of their pimps instead of their constituents. And I blame the Fed for doing the exact opposite of its public mandate. (of course I realize their private mandate is to steal as much from the population as possible and move to Paraguay so they are super successful internally)

Now don’t get me wrong, the hedge funds do some “creative” things to charge 2 and 20 from their millionaire clients. And occasionally they get themselves in positions to blow up entire currencies (see George and Jim), but without the conspiracy that our government agencies perpetrated, this would never have happened.

Please give them a call if you are a scum loser who signed up for a house you do not deserve. I’m here to rent and pay taxes so you can stay in your McMansion while I attempt something completely un-American and save up for my home.

1 comment:

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Happy Super Tuesday!